I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
