WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Randomize
