Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
