ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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