and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
