Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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