We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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