ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
