there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
