Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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