my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
