dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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