Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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