my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
