But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
