drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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