My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
