I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
