i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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