spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
