Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
