Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
