pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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