I love black thongs
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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