cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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