Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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