I love having hate sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
