Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
