she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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