remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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