I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
