At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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