PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
