I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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