guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
What happened to fro yo and sex?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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