Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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