Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
