I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
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Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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