Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
