I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I FOUND THE LEGS
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
