There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
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