It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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