Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Your dad touched me again.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i out mim tonsoeep
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