these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
