Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
