If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
