Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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