So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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