end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
