Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
