I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Everyone says I win the strip club
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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