he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
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Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
So. Much. Porn.
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