He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
