I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
