dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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