didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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