am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
