Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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