two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
