Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize