Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
