What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
