I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize